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Three little birds
JFX A large, flat, open space is surrounded by crudely constructed control towers, bunkers, hangars, and a passenger terminal. A quick glance around JFX Interplanetary Spaceport - named in honor of the Autobot-turned-Junkion who once led the faction - is enough to make anyone wonder how this species ever developed spaceflight. A collection of shuttles, Junkion and otherwise, litter the landing pad. Over the gates of the spaceport rests a monumental, roughly-hewn piece of grey translucent glass; a placard underneath bears an engraved image of Unicron's floating head, and this inscription: "Remember, don't play with Junkion Spacecraft: they'll put your eye out! The planet of Junkion, populated by the Junkions. It's a planet of... junk. Mountains of scrap piles as far as the eye can see. Monstereo is fresh off the boat, so to speak, having come from another star system recently on business and in need of a little R&R. In the horizon a small speck appears. Growing larger it is soon recgonized as an escape pod and then it seems to disappear in the horizon. Shortly thereafter a few of the many tall piles that go on as far as the optic can see is blown apart and debris shoots up into the air to fly around and crash down and become just more of the surrounding junk. Junkions all across the land take notice and various exclamations and questions arise from a seemingly endless amount of earth television references. Monstereo's is this, "We didn't see this thing coming? Well, our object collison budget's a million dollars. That allows us to track about 3% of the sky, and beg'n your pardon sir, but it's a big-aft sky." What does the second in command do? He rallies a small posse to ride out towards the distant crash site. He transforms, taking the lead in monster truck mode as Junkcycles and riders drive out that way. The Junkion robot makes a clickety-ratcheting series of sounds as he transforms into the disguise of a monster truck... labelled Monstereo. Are you fooled? ;) As the escape pod settles down, bits of metal falling here and there everything is silent for a few minutes. Then with the hiss of hydraulics in the hatches mechanisms, the door opens and a Seeker stumbles out onto the junk, stumbles in the metal junk everywhere and crashes to his knees. He looks around a bit dazed and then looks around again. What is this place? He looks back to the escape pod and briefly to the trail it left coming in and smirks a bit as he regains somewhat unsteady feet. "Gonna fail, do it right." He mumbles and shakes his head a bit to clear a few things from his jarring landing. The distant thunderous sound of cycles rip-roaring over the trecherous junk terrain grows from unnoticable to unmistakable. The Junkion gang of cycle riders lead by the monster truck crests a hill, kicking up a rust-dust cloud in its wake. A voice from the posse cries out, "Yeeee-ha!" Then all the rest join in repeating "YEEEE-HA!" They approach the site of the pod crash, the crash trail like a flare. In the distance, a Sweepcraft is speeding towards the Planet of Junk. It is only a speck now, but it will arrive shortly... With presents? Windshear looks at the mass of cycles and riders and YEEE-HAs and flings himself into his alternate form, lifting up into the sky. The chest juts out, hands retract, arms fold unnaturally back behind the fusilage and the front of a jet takes shape. Wings flip upward regaining their normal stance as arm laser barrels lock into place under each wing. The feet retract in, legs merge together and back. Stabilators and tailfins extend and Windshear is now a Cybertronian Tetrajet. Tetrajet calls out on a wide band radio frequency "I'm not here to fight!" The gang below hockey-stop on the junky ground, their spikey tires master the ground. But they stare upwards as Winshear transforms and takes to the air. It is apparent that is where they cannot follow. The Monster Truck transforms and Monstereo shakes a fist up to the heavens. "Why has thou forsaken us? Our beautiful land! Dorothy Gale, you dropped a house on my sister. I want those Ruby Slippers." He eyeballs the escape pod. "Let's make a deal." The posse around him watch on, not apparently spurrned to attack nor accepting hosts. A shifty lot those space bikers. Tetrajet listens to what one of them, he can only assume the leader, says and for a moment just hovers. What in Primus did this mech just say? He understood the 'make a deal' part clear enough though. Slowly the Tetrajet lowers toward the ground and transforms to land by his escape pod. With the shunting and shifting of plates, the nosecone of the tetrajet folds down to make a chest, intakes make shoulders, arms swing up and out from the back airbrake area. Wings spin downward from where they join the fussilage as wing cannons mount on either upper arm. The back of the aircraft splits, the twin turbines respective induciton systems making legs. Stabilators fold in, tailfins fold in and what was a jet is now the robot; Windshear. The Sweepcraft draws nearer, having been drawn by the distress call of the escape pod. <> he shortranges. Windshear glances to the robots before him, changing his stance to a guarded position and addresses the one who spoke, "Deal? What sort of 'deal'? It's not like I came here on purpose -- where is exactly is 'here' anyway and are all of you, Transformers?" Man hes been away far too long if thats the case. Combat: Windshear sets its defense level to Guarded. Windshear gives no outward indication he was just contacted and interally replies on the same frequency, <"This is Windshear, Assistance required may be nessessary, surrounded by.... by.. possibly hostile robots."> Thats the only way he can describe them right now. Monstereo tends to tone his native language down somewhat when he's offworld, but back home now his tv culture language is nice and thickly laid on like a cajun in a Louisiana Bayou. "Why this sporty import, like new condition. Offer is limited while supplies last. We get the money-honey, you get the one way ticket back to dulls-ville with a free lunch and souvenir hat." He smiles as the posse pipe up, "Courtesy of the Junkions!" Though Windshear's stance is guarded neither of his arm lasers have come online. His right fist is clenched but not tightly so. He takes in again what this robot has said and his optic ridges draw in a bit in a frown. He finally answers in his rumbling bartone, "I think you are talking about this escape pod?" He offhanded motions to it and continues, "But thats about as far as I got." Hes not one known for patiance with odd talking mechs but this is also one of the oddest talking mechs hes ever encountered and hes more intrigued then anything else. <> the Sweep shortranges back to Windshear, <> <> Monstereo headscratches his helmet. "Hmm..." He's gonna have to dumb it down for the foreigner. "Me Monstereo. You marooned. We Junkions buy your escape pod in exchange for getting you outta our house. You understand? Oo-oo-oo." Yes that was a mock monkey noise at the end. But hey, at least the Junkions arn't trying to take Windshear's head as a replacement part yet. They've learned their lesson to ask questions first... most of the time. Windshear understood that. He glances at his escape pod and smirks then looks back at the one called Monstereo, "Yes, I need my head thank you. The escape pod is yours." He wonders where the Sweep is. Those hes heard a good bit about. Word of their existance and how they came to be is pretty common knowledge on the space channels and trade routes he knows. "Have you seen another pod one like this by any chance?" Windshear asked Monstereo again as he made a subtle scan along the horizon for anything heading their way. Monstereo chinrubs mock-wisely again. He turns to one of the Junkcycle riders and whispers in their audial receptor. The rider nods to Monstereo and rides off. Monstereo turns to Windshear. "Unga bunga. Deal done, oh what fun. Now, about this othe pod... You've got a friend in need? A fellow castaway? We're on the lookout. If there is signs of life or smouldering death someone knows. Someone knows." One of the riders dismounts and the Junkcycle he was on transforms into another Junkion. The pair move to the pod to salvage it and take it away with chains. "As for your way home... we've a shuttle terminal you can hitch a ride and sail the seven star systems to find your way home." A junkion rider pipes up, "E.T. go hoooome." The Sweepcraft arrives. It shifts into robot mode, and Sunder lands beside Windshear. He's been monitoring communications and had picked up something about a shuttle. "So you will let this one go, on one of your shuttles?" he asks, "Then I shall escort it. To ensure it is not mistakenly attacked, of course." Sunder shifts into his fearsome-looking robot mode. Windshear watches the robot dismount off the cycle and the bike transform into a Junkion. That was interesting indeed. As the two Junkions close in on the escape pod he steps aside and nods to Monstereo, "Yes a friend who I would think is somewheres crashed here as well. We were on the same trajectory when the pods were launched." About that time he sees a blue...hovercraft head his way, transform and land all about that fast. When the mech speaks he realizes it is the Sweep he was talking to earlier. "Agreed." he says to the Sweep. Monstereo gives Sunder a sour look. "Oh, it's you. Hello, ugly. Yes, you can fly along after your Gilligan here, Skipper." The Junkion posse around him noticably tense up, familiar with Sweeps and ready to get rowdy should things get unpleasant. Meanwhile, the rider Monstereo sent away radios back to the chief and Monstereo nods to himself. "Okie dokey, artichokie. Pod 2 has been tracked down. Open the bay doors, Hal, cause we're going to play fetch. Junkions, mount up and ride!" He transforms and revs his engine, asiding to the two Decepticons, "Follow." The Junkion robot makes a clickety-ratcheting series of sounds as he transforms into the disguise of a monster truck... labelled Monstereo. Are you fooled? ;) Windshear looks back at the Sweep and then back to Monstereo. He can't help but snicker, "Where did you learn this language?" Sunder is a bit uneasy around so many Junkions with so little backup, so he doesn't press hostilities. He rises into the air to follow the Junkposse as they lead him and Windshear to the other pod. "Gilligan?" he murmurs to himself questioningly. Windshear realizes the Junkion didnt hear his question and he leaps into the air to follow the Sweep and the Junkions. "What is a Gilligan?" He asks the Sweep as they follow the Junkions. The chest juts out, hands retract, arms fold unnaturally back behind the fusilage and the front of a jet takes shape. Wings flip upward regaining their normal stance as arm laser barrels lock into place under each wing. The feet retract in, legs merge together and back. Stabilators and tailfins extend and Windshear is now a Cybertronian Tetrajet. Monster Truck honks his horn and yells back as the gang roll out loudly over the scrap plains, "Gilligan is a castaway.... GOSH!" Yup, he just Napoleon Dynamited you. :p The Junkions lead the way over rolling fields and hills. Covering a great distance, they close in on another pod crash sight eventually. "It's a long drive to the 18th green." Tetrajet sees the other pod and makes a sharp back to drop altitude. Half way toward the pod he transforms and lands. The Sweep snorts at Monstereo's proclamation of who Gilligan is. Ahhh, a memory of seeing an old earth show in the Medical Ward after one of the previous patients had left the small portable TV on. 'Gilligan's Island'. The Sweep makes a sudden realization. "Since when does a professor bring a lifetime's worth of reading material on a 'three hour tour'?" Windshear luckily didn't hear what the Sweep said as he lands and heads for the pod. He seems mildly concerned for his friend inside and wants to know how he faired in the crash landing. Monster Truck parks and the rest of the posse pull up too. He transforms and put shis hands on his hips. In Cliff Claven style he says, "It's a little know fact that the Professor was a genius and could read a book a minute. Gotta keep that egghead entertained. Also, Gilligan's first name was Willy." The other Junkions nod in respect to the wisdom of their Alpha-junk. Monstereo then approaches the pod following Windshear. Windshear pushes away some junk and works his way to the hatch only to discover its open. With one hand on the hatch he looks down inside, "Octane? Hey? Where are you?... not here ..." He looks back and scans the area in his line of sight and sees no trace of his friend. His gaze shifts to Monstereo, "Since you will have his pod, you dont need his head or anything else of him will you?" Monstereo folds his arms over his chest and says, "As long as the kid isn't a problem child he can keep his head and every other appendage. But if there is trouble, we'll make it double, capice?" He then looks around the landscape. What a dump. "Where in the world is Carmen Sandiago?" Sunder strokes his beard. "Oh, great," he says, "Now I suppose we have to look for him?" Windshear just stares at Monstereo for a long moment with the most lost look on his face. He got part of what the Junkion said but has no clue to the rest. And as far as Octane staying out of trouble? He opens his mouth to say something and just stops. There no way he can lie good enough and say Octane wont be a problem... Octane is how they got IN this mess. He hears the sweep and is glad for the diversion. He looks over, "If he doesnt want to be found, you wont find him --" He stops suddenly and decides he will say no more on the matter and just does another quick scan to try and pick up any trace of the triple-changer. He then tries to radio him but is met with static. Monstereo makes a broadcast that has the entire populace, except those on tv watching shift, out to look for the intruder. He says mock slyly, "Oh don't worry.... I'm sure he'll turn up..." He steeples his fingers like Mr. Burns for a moent and then drops the act. "Now, care for a tea before you go?" Windshear stammers, "Care for a what?" "Tea," Sunder echoes, "A human beverage, but also a reference to a small snack. I do believe he's inviting us to partake in some energon. Is that right, Junkion?" Windshear looks at the Sweep. Another word he has no idea about, "Human?" Monstereo chuckles. "Oh no no no. You can have it to-go. We've plenty of styrofoam cups to spare." Ew. :p "Oh, you are not familiar with humans?" the Sweep says, somewhat surprised, "they are curious organic bipeds that inhabit the planet Earth. You will see them when we return there. Mostly they are resistant to our goal of conquest." He eyes Monstereo and nods. "To-go will be fine," he says. He doesn't plan on lingering on Junkion, though a bit of fuel before takeoff would be welcome. It smells like old rusty scraps and other detritus, which although it may be like "Channel No. 5" to a Junkion, is like dirty stinky human sweatsocks to Sunder. They have those too actually. Windshear listens to the Sweeps explanation and then stays silent until he is finished commenting to Monstereo. He looks over at the sweep and his baratone takes on a hard edge. "Resistent? Of the Decepticon cause? The Empire? Why are they still in existence then?" Monstereo rolls his optics and sighs, "Oh look out, they're gonna get off on a rant here. May Unicron bite my fanny." The Junkions chant, "May the Grand Pooh-bah eat my shorts and choke!" The Sweep shrugs. "Why indeed? The Autobots protect them, of course." Windshear gives the Junkion an odd look and gives a sweeping glance to the chanting ones before he looks back at the Sweep. "Autobots. Figures they were protect these creatures. Seems anything that is against the Decepticons is an Autobot's best friend..." Monstereo starts walking away from the pod crash site since it's apparent that there is nothing to be found just standing around. A dune buggy junkion rolls up with a pair of TF sized thermos beverage sontainers and Monstereo tips for the the delivery. He then offers each Decepticon a thermos. "Drink up, me hearty's yo-ho." Sunder accepts the thermos that the Junkion proffers. He opens the container and tastes. He nods approvingly. Windshear gingerly takes the offered container as he has the impression if he doesnt there may be a fight. Not that he minds fighting but right now it just isnt what hes interested in. Monstereo chimes, "The best part of waking up is Folders in your cup." It's not tea or even Folders coffee, it's just good old fashioned energon. Not top grade, mind you, but hey. Look around. Nothing here is. The Junkion keeps on the lookout for lurking triple changers while the rest of the planet not watching reruns is as well. Windshear nods and looks back to the empty escape pod. Where did Octane go? Bigger question is why did he go? The Sweep has a very keen sense of smell. He sniffs around, sifting through the myriad odors. "I think I have picked up his scent," Sunder announces. "I think we can find him." Monstereo raises his handsand then pats them down onto his upper legs. "Well! Choke my KFC. A lead. Very well, Holmes, show us your super sleuth skills." The remainder of the Junkion posse loom in the back ground. Windshear studies the sweep for a moment then walks out a few steps from the pod. "I have heard of a Sweeps tracking ability...which direction are you picking up this scent?" Sunder points in a direction away from the pod, opposite from the direction they came from, that has several piles of junk that a Transformer could either hide behind, or take a snooze at the base of without being spotted right away. "That way," he says. He follows his nose. It always knows. Windshear watches the Sweep curiously and finishing his energon, he out of force of habit looks for a 'table' to set it on. And of course there isnt one there so he looks around with it in his hand and then puts it in Monsteros hand and follows the Sweep. He takes a couple of quick steps to catch up with him and then his left foot catches something and for a brief moment he makes all there wonder how Seekers got the reputation of being 'graceful' None the less he keeps his feet under him and looks back to see what he tripped over...it looks familar. "Wait, Sweep." He rumbles as he bends down to look at the tip of a familar colored wing... "I think .. you.. found him." After all it was the Sweep that headed in this direction. Sunder stops just as Windshear trips. The scent had petered out just past where Windshear was standing, causing the Sweep to backtrack. "Indeed," he says, returning to the spot. "Let us dig him out." His claws are put to good use as he pulls debris off the buried Triple-Changer. Monstereo nods. "Roit." Translation: Right. And with that, Monstereo tosses the returned thermos to the winds to land among the scrap. Don't worry, everything gets found and found again on this world. He watches the Decepticons pull an Indiana Jones. Windshear glances at the thermos as it goes flying. The customs of this place were odd indeed. He bends down next to the sweep and starts digging as well. Sunder scrapes around...and looks in consternation. He found only a wing. Where's the rest of him? Just as the wing was pulled from the rusted refuse a silver and purple hand busts through the surface and grabs hold of Windshear's leg! A muffled voice is heard underneath his foot. "Getoffof.me!!" Monstereo points to the hand. "It's alive... it's ALIVE!" Several junkions start to golf clap politely. Others, still in cycle mode, flash their headlights. "Alright we can call off the search, signal the coast guard to come ashore, and tell the Salvation Army Christmas and New Years are over." Windshear takes the Sweeps arm and moves him off the muffled voice. "Octane?" he asks as he moves some debris from where his head has to be. After moving a particularly large piece of sheet metal he looks down at the Triple-changer and snickers, "Well I've seen you look better." The Sweep, of course, moves off where the Triple Changer is buried and helps clear debris. "Oh there you are," Sunder says, "What in the pit are you doing under all this scrap?" Octane coughs, "I've felt better." Looking up at Shear and the Sweep he wheezes. "Good question. The pod ejected. Next thing I know im doing a half gainer face first into garbage." He pauses. "I think I swallowed most of it." Monstereo exclaims, "That junk-dive, we give a 2 for incompletion yet adequate depth for a beginer." "Ahhh," Sunder says, "Well, the Junkions have graciously allowed you both transport on one of their shuttles. I am going to escort it so our forces don't mistakenly fire upon it with you inside. I think I shall take you to Earth, for that is where some of our main operations have been taking place." Windshear shakes his head at Octane. "Theres a lot of junk here, Octane, I dont think your tanks are big enough.." He pauses and looks at the sky then to the Junkions then back to the Sweep and Octane. "Not exaclty what I had in mind for finally returning to my home world but it will do." He looks back at Monstereo. "Thank you for your assistance, Monstereo." Octane raises a brow at Shear. Sarcasm was just a foreign language to him. Hearing the word Earth the Triple changer winces. "Swell" Looking down at the Sweep he blinked his optics at the wing tip and then up to his own that was missing. "..Oh Slag" Monstereo nods and then folds his arms across his chest. "Gravey. Now that the mystery has been solved, the Scooby Squad can be on their merry way. Adios! Au revoir. Buh-bye now. So long and thanks for all the fish. Goodnight, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are. Don't let the Ig-Yac hit you on the butt on your way out." "Then we shall be on our way," Sunder says. He waits for Octane and Windshear to board the shuttle that the Junkions have so generously lent them before transforming and preparing to escort. Windshear helps Octane to his feet and looks back at the wing problem. "Hey Im sure someone can fix you there -- why that look on your face? I take it I won't like Earth?" Octane looks up at Shear. "Lets just say I'm not all that welcomed on EarthUhh...If anyone asks I had nothing to do with any monuments." He says and stands cracking a bent strut in his neck. "..I think I was sitting on a dead petro rat." Sunder's head disappears into his chest, his wings fold around him, and now he is in Sweepcraft mode, his headcannon still visible. The Sweepcraft hovers somewhat impatiently. He's eager to get going. Windshear takes a snif and pulls his head back, "I think it was more than that...what monument?" It must have been old man Buckethead's dead pet Rizzo... Junkions gather like paparazi at the edges of the red carpet, waving to the Decepticon trio as the go to the shuttle. Some toss rice, some try to put plastic leis on them, and some just make faces. Yes, they're weirdos. The shuttle powers up, ready to launch. Monstereo gives a big arm wave. "Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight." Windshear nods to Monstereo and transforms. The Sweepcraft's ion drives brighten as he prepares for takeoff. He moves forward rapidly, pacing the Shuttle. And just as he breaks orbit, he shortranges over the broadband. <> He waggles his soapdishy form as he reaches Faster Than Light velocity. Monstereo pats his yet to be installed advanced communications array... soon he'll have the last word. Oh yes. For now he murmurs, "This round goes to you, Sweep."